RA & Unpredictability

My wedding planning has been going super smoothly. Everything my fiancé and I have encountered has been easy & smooth sailing. However, there is one thing that I am stressing about – and that is whether or not my body will behave for me. I have a fear that I will get a migraine and I won’t be able to be outdoors or in bright lighting. I fear that my hips & legs will be hurting and I won’t be able to wear the shoes I want and have to walk down the aisle with a cane. I fear that fatigue will get the best of me and cause me to sit on the sidelines & watch everyone dance as I try to regain energy. I fear my brain fog will take over and cause me to forget my lines or forget some special items for the day. I fear a big flare and have to ice my body while people are celebrating.

Like I’ve said before, autoimmune diseases don’t take days off and my fear is that on our special day, my body will not function the way I would want it to. Although that’s my fear, I know my fiancé and everyone at the event will be sympathetic and won’t care what I look like & have compassion for how I feel. Rheumatoid arthritis is unpredictable and there aren’t too many preventative things I can do to guarantee a pain free, stress free, migraine free day. And I know if I continue to stress about it, I will be creating my own storm.

I’ve had a lot of support from friends and family about helping me on our wedding. I appreciate everyone’s efforts for trying to give me the best experience I can possibly have. Your generosity and humanity is the best gift I can ask for. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. At this juncture, I would also have to remind myself that I am Stronger than RA and things will go well for me, no matter what.  

For those of you who have had a big event come up and had the same fears, what was your approach and what did you do beforehand?


Mammoth, October 2017